


it's meaningless (if it's not you)

by Anonymous



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Maybe - Freeform, One-Sided Attraction, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Incest, This is basically just word vomit, basically hina being gay for her sister, but thats canon so, hina being extra gay for her sister, i need more syhn eng content :(, somanyfeelingsforsayohina.txt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:14:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25109056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Sayo's staring so intently while waiting for a reply that Hina fears her sister will be able to figure out what she had been so fussy about; She's gonna gaze into Hina's eyes that light up a thousand times brighter that it usually is only when she's around, she's gonna read Hina's mind that has Sayo written so messily and repeatedly all over the place, she's gonna find out that even though Hina's heart is so big and spacey, nothing can fit inside anymore since she made Sayo a home just for herself in there and it's waiting for her to just own it.....orSayo invites Hina to watch the fireworks together. Things don’t go the way they planned it out to be but Hina thinks everything turned out fine in the end.
Relationships: Hikawa Hina & Hikawa Sayo, Hikawa Hina/Hikawa Sayo
Comments: 10
Kudos: 74
Collections: Anonymous





	it's meaningless (if it's not you)

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by that one sayo convo where she wants 2 watch fireworks with hina tgther uwu and Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun's (a must watch) last episode scene so like try to imagine that scene bc idk how 2 write details forgive me  
> title is also from Nozaki-kuns's Kimi Ja Nakya Dame Mitai eng lyrics!!!
> 
> also i rushed this so *shrugs* i just wanted to add something so the sayohina tag would rise up

Hina doesn't know how to pinpoint exactly how and when her feelings for her older sister became... not so sisterly.

It could've been when Sayo was taking a bullet by eating carrots for her, carrots that Hina would rather die at age six than eat herself. Or, that time when she had the hugest cutest heart-pounding grin on her face after _finally_ beating Hina at something in the younger twin's own game (that Hina purposely rigged up but don't let her sister know that). Maybe it was when the soft rays of moonlight framed Sayo's ( _gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous_ ) face oh so perfectly at that tanzaku festival; The first time since forever they'd talked properly to each other and Hina wanted to kiss her right then and there.

Or worse! Some awfully mischievous gods decided to be all _'hey wouldn’t it be hilarious if this kid was born loving her older same sex twin from start to finish_?' Seriously, that’s just cruel!

But maybe the answer could be found in all the tiny tidbits of their wonderful memories together, scattered around all for Hina to pick and solve like a puzzle. It's not like anything's gonna change so suddenly just because she just realized her feelings _now_ —

"Hina, are you even listening to me?"

_Now_ being zoning out while the person that's been on her mind all day and all night (and as cheesy as it sounds, its _true_ ) prodding her for not paying attention. They were at a plaza downtown waiting for the fireworks countdown for their local summer festival. Her big sister had asked if Hina wanted to go and, of course, she answered with an overly enthusiastic ‘ _YEAH!’_ accompanied with rapid nods. It was fortunate that they were both free for the day and Hina vowed to enjoy every second of it. But of all places to realize her feelings, it just had to be _here_.

Sayo's staring so intently while waiting for a reply that Hina fears her sister will be able to figure out what she had been so fussy about; She's gonna gaze into Hina's eyes that light up a thousand times brighter that it usually is only when she's around, she's gonna read Hina's mind that has Sayo written so messily and repeatedly all over the place, she's gonna find out that even though Hina's heart is so big and spacey, nothing can fit inside anymore since she made Sayo a home just for herself in there and it's waiting for her to just _own_ it.

“Yeah!” she accidentally yells in a volume that’s a bit too loud even for a person like Hina and it makes Sayo cock an eyebrow in worry. “I’m just hungry is all.” She giggles awkwardly, hoping to ease the sudden tension. Her sister still looks at her curiously and after a few beats of silence, she clumsily intertwines her hands with Hina.

_Woah,_ she thinks. It sends a rush of heat to Hina’s face that she normally brushes off but Sayo’s blush is far more obvious. She feels her usual confidence coming back to her. _She’s so adorable…_

They walk throughout the food and game stands, _(_ holding _hands_ , Hina dreamily adds) to find a place where they could see the fireworks clearer. But they had to make stops on the way since: “ _Onee-chan_ , I want to try that one!!”, “Woah, that’s so cool. Let’s play, _onee-chan_!”, “ _Onee-chan_ , can we just eat for a couple of minutes? Pretty pleaseeee?”—

By the time they got to where they were supposed to be _thirty_ minutes ago, they were instead shoved around by several people who got to the place earlier than them.

"Ah… it's so crowded in here— we can barely see the display..." Sayo grips Hina's hand tighter as the countdown begins to start. Sayo scoffs when someone bumps onto her and sighs, "Hina... I'm sorry," she says with a stern and apologetic face even though they both know Hina was totally the one at fault.

Hina frowns since she knows exactly what that look on her face means; She's seen it too many times to count. It's the same look she wears when she's disappointed in herself for disappointing others but Hina's totally not disappointed at all! She doesn't want her sister to go through all of that kind of pain again when this was supposed to be one of the rarer days where they get to hang out and have fun together... but fortunately, she comes up with an idea.

"Hey, _onee-chan_." She tugs at Sayo's dress which earned her a grunt. "I might just know a place!"

* * *

They're sitting on the monkey bars of the playground they used to spend time together when they were kids. Sayo's obviously impressed since, true to Hina's word, the fireworks look, as Sayo muttered when she thought Hina couldn't hear, ‘ _absolutely amazing’_ from up there. They sit side by side together and Hina's sure that she could outshine each and every firework up in the sky because she's just so _happy_ right now.

The fireworks are booming and crackling in the sky and it's nice and all but the only thing (or specifically: _person_ ) she's more enamored at is her sister. She's sitting so close to her and Hina just wants to hold her hand so, so, _so,_ bad. She's so pretty and beautiful and all the other boring adjectives that couldn't really define the scenery before her. it's, it's... it's so—

_bopping._

She can't contain her glee in this very moment as she just stares and stares. But good things have to end since, like the impulsive idiot she is, she blurts out—

.

.

.

"I love you."

.

.

.

Which was a huge mistake since the fireworks had to stop at such a _perfect_ timing.

But _there_. She said it. She said it and she's so _fucked fucked fucked_ — Sayo's looking at her with an indecipherable face and there's no turning back from this now. Her palms are all clammy and sweaty. _She's gonna hate me again._ Her leg is shaking so hard _. She's gonna be so disgusted_. She can't _breathe—_

All she can see is the fireworks whooshing again like they're making fun of her and Sayo's head getting bigger and bigger and big— wait, Sayo is still inching her face closer and closer to Hina as the younger twin short circuits:

_woah,_

_is she gonna kiss me?_

_what's happening right now_ -

Just as she had come to her senses though, she processes that Sayo's mouth wasn't actually targeted to where she expected it to be. She wasn't aiming for her face but rather than her ear, _u_ _nfortunately_. Truly a disappointing day for the younger Hikawa.

"I love the fireworks, too," she whispers as Hina's face is still dumbstruck. She was so close, yet so far—

She's suppressing the urge to cry right now. Sayo sweetly smiles at her (which is so, so, so _cute_ nonetheless), oblivious to Hina's inner turmoil and looks back to the display while the younger twin collects the pieces of her broken heart silently. Her mind is in a total catastrophe from what just happened. She thinks she hates fireworks with absolute passion now.

She realized she just spaced out in agony as the explosions in the sky finally came to an end. At least she saw her sister smile like that and ‘ _that's enough for me’_ , she guesses.

"We should watch the fireworks again next year, Hina." Sayo faces her then and Hina feels her heart suddenly pieced back together at her sister’s words. "With everyone, though. You'd like that, won't you? I mean, I'm not always available." Then Sayo breaks her heart again, just like that.

Hina wants to say: ‘ _what haha, no way!’,_ or an ‘ _it's okay if it's just the two of us, onee-chan’._ A _‘shouldn't this be just our thing? Don't you want it to be?’_ would be _too_ much _._ There’s also an _‘i don't care about everyone else’_ or a _‘nothing matters when you're not with me so please i want it to be just for us_ — but as expected, she doesn’t say any of them. The most important things are truly left unspoken, she thinks sadly.

"Yeah... that's okay." She musters up a smile to hide her obvious disappointment that Sayo was too busy climbing down the bars to notice. It was too bold of her to even assume her sister thinks her as anything more. It's kind of relieving though, she has to admit that she's still kind of afraid to how Sayo would react. Considering the whole guitar drama that happened way back.

Sayo has hated and ignored her because of Hina's dumb _prodigyness_ back then... She doesn't even want to imagine what could've happened this time. Heck, if Hina was born taking all the ( _stupid stupid stupid_ ) talent with her then Sayo was born taking all the pieces of Hina's heart and has it under her mercy. It sounds so sappy and mushy but she is really under Sayo's thumb and it's _suffering_.

As Sayo offers her hand to help Hina down, she silently hopes that one day— her feelings might reach her sister again, different from the last time obviously. But It will definitely come true like before!

Maybe— or at least she hopes so...

"Spacing out again?" Sayo asks with a teasing smile. Hina feels an arrow pierce her heart then and bashfully laughs as she grabs Sayo's hand and climbs down. "You're probably starving right now, aren't you?" The single nod from Hina made Sayo sigh good-naturedly. "Then let's order take out on the way home."

"Woah, really!?" Now _this_ — this is why she loves her. "You're the best, _onee-chan_." And Hina means it in the many ways she herself can't even explain. She wonders how far their twin telepathy truly goes if Sayo couldn't even understand something as obvious as Hina being smitten for her. They hold their hands while they walk to their favorite fast food place and Hina convinces herself for the nth time that this is enough for her.

She decides that she's gonna cherish every second she spends with her, assuming that each one might as well be the only seconds she's gonna have.

**Author's Note:**

> god my notes were long as hell anyway my @ is mocatastic_


End file.
